Thursday 19 April 2012
Believe me – I had no intention of writing
about the M Word today - the idea landed into my thoughts as though it were a
box of goodies falling off the back of a truck. Clunk!
Two men…one yesterday and another just a
couple of weeks back…lost their jobs because they opened their mouths wider and
faster than their brains could operate.
There is no evidence to suggest whether they
lost their jobs because of the nature of their remarks or because those remarks
were publicly aired. The cynic in me suspects the latter.
Racism was the reason given for the first
dismissal: misogyny for the second.
Abhorrent things…both of them!
Personally I am sorry for people who lose a
valuable job over a mistake. But
if there has to be a sacrificial lamb (or two) to get essential Human Rights messages
across – then so be it!
I am equally appalled and fierce about both
of these issues, but as luck would have it…it is Thursday, the day after my baby-sitting
two adorable little girls and I am therefore emotionally drawn to the subject
of gender. I have lived long enough and experienced enough to know that
equality of the sexes is not alive and well in our midst. The old Boys’ Club
ethos pervades no matter the environment. And women - even those most brilliant
- do it tougher than men financially, physically, mentally and socially and
rarely achieve the status of equality.
I am writing it on behalf of my tiny
granddaughters who cannot yet speak for themselves.
Dear Mr Max
Yesterday you lost your job.
My granddaughters and I were concerned
to hear about that - even though the reasons for your dismissal confused them a
little.
You see Max, they’re only 18 months and
3 years old with their whole lives ahead of them.
Their eyes asked me to explain…so I did
the best I could and thought it would be good for you to have it explained too.
At the moment all they really understand
is that they are loved and protected, comforted and fed.
They do not as yet realize that as they
go through life, some people will regard them as second-class citizens because
they are female!
And because of the nature of your letter
confirming this fact (sent by email to Dr Carole Ford - a highly educated and
respected Queensland feminist) their parents and I will see to it, from this
moment on, that they are equipped sufficiently to deal with it.
Let’s look at your letter so I can quote
you accurately, Max. How about we
take the 3rd paragraph as a sample?
Question:
Why don’t you have a go? Answer: Like most women, you probably don’t possess
the necessary drive, determination and decisiveness that men innately possess.
It’s not a personal criticism; it’s a fact of biology. Where, for example, are
the great female explorers, mountaineers, warriors, inventors, chefs? Blokes
dominate most areas of human endeavour because Nature equipped them with
something called testosterone. That was part of Nature’s grand design to enable
men to be stronger, more fearless and more determined than their sisters. Sorry Carole, fact not fiction.
If so, in the first part of the airing you
make a rather silly gross generalization about ‘most women’ that could not
possibly be substantiated by any reliable statistics.
How are we doing Max? My little
granddaughters are starting to giggle.
Secondly, you assure Dr Ford that this is
not ‘a personal criticism’ but a ‘fact of biology.’
Now at this point, Max I asked the 3
year old to get down a medical encyclopedia. It seemed to me there might just be confusion in your mind
over the difference between biological causation and learnt aspects of
personality such as temperament and character. I mean…if it’s a ‘male thing’ to
have ‘drive, determination and decisiveness’…why don’t ALL men manifest those
qualities and NO women show any signs of them?
But we shouldn’t let YOUR confusion get
in the way of your ‘fact not
fiction’ claims, should we!
The 3 year old had great fun finding dozens
of examples for you of prominent female explorers, mountaineers, warriors,
inventors and chefs,
whilst the 18 month old looked at their
pictures with a faraway look in her eyes. Would she, I wondered like to follow
in the footsteps of the likes of Marie Curie, Samina Baig, Kylie Kwong or the
remarkable Aung San Suu Kyi for
instance?
I’ve no wish to go further with your
farcical letter or my explanations to these wonderful young granddaughters of
mine, Max. They’ve both fallen asleep…bored to sobs with the puerility of your
arguments. And no doubt, your vision of the woman’s place being firmly in the
labour-ward or the kitchen would no doubt terrify them, given the mother they
have and the train set they got for Christmas.
Instead I shall make sure every moment I
share with them will be joyful; they shall be stimulated, inspired, supported
and feel the compassion as they pursue their interests, search for role models,
develop their strengths and overcome challenges.
We shall anticipate – no, by our
attitude, command respect from males and return it in kind.
And we shall stride out into the world
in confidence, armed sufficiently with the weapons of integrity, civility and
intelligence to demonstrate and celebrate our gender.
We wish you no ill will, Max and hope
that you use your new-found recreational time wisely in thinking through these
things.
May your pomposity vanish and your
humility rise.
Nancy, Olivia and Hannah
"Like most women, you probably don’t possess the necessary drive, determination and decisiveness that men innately possess."
ReplyDeleteBizarre. I'm afraid this man is no sacrificial lamb, Nancy. He is still in the Nineteenth Century and the world would be better if he remained there than in his former job and current time.
Yes...I was probably being a bit kind to him Denis, the ignorance is deeply ingrained. I would love to think that he was a one-off misogynist but it will take time and effort to turn things around completely. I DO see encouraging signs though with so many young men today.
ReplyDelete